This is a question that confuses many people who read a lot of self help or spiritual type books. Do you make life happen or “just let it happen” or “go with the flow?”

On the one hand, we are often told by people who teach the Law of Attraction that we create our own reality. This seems to suggest that we are in charge of things and that it’s up to us to create the circumstances we want. On the other hand, it is also often repeated that we have to let go of being attached to our goals and to just relax and let life, God or the universe do the work for us. So which is it? It’s really a little bit of both. I’ll try to explain this in a way that won’t further confuse people

Many times when we are talking about how the world works at a basic level, such as with the Law of Attraction, we run into problems when it comes to words and logic. For the universe does not always work in a way that is in line with our everyday assumptions and experiences. So it is with manifesting what you want.

The truth is something of a paradox –the best way to make life happen is to just let it happen!

This is a rather subtle point, so it requires further explanation. In order to let things happen or go with the flow, you first have to have some idea of where you want to go. If you are completely aimless and without goals, the universe cannot respond to your desires, because they are not clearly formed. On the other hand, if you have very specific goals, and a very detailed way that you believe they can be achieved, it may be hard for you to break free of your past experiences. You see, if you want things to change, you have to be open to things coming to you in ways that you are not necessarily expecting.

The best way to work with goals, or manifesting your desires, is to form a clear idea of what you want and why and then let go of how it will come to you. You can even write down your goals, which can help you formulate them more clearly. The trick to the “letting go” part is not to become fixated on your goals once you set them. It’s fine to create action steps that are in line with your goals, but do them in the spirit of living in the moment and doing the best you can, rather than looking for your goal to manifest every minute, which is the equivalent of being a “clockwatcher” at work. The more you look at the clock, the slower the day goes by. Likewise, the more impatient you are to achieve your goals, the longer it takes! As Wayne Dyer says, “Infinite patience yields instant results!”

There are thousands of books and courses that speak of personal growth.  Some believe it’s just a way for authors and workshop leaders to make money. Does it really work and how can personal growth resources give you a boost on your journey to success?

The fact is, virtually everyone is looking to improve themselves in some way. They want to improve how the look or feel, their finances, their relationships, the way their house looks, etc. So personal growth is really something very basic to our existence. It is a goal that really is at the root of all other goals. The question is whether we approach our personal growth development in a consistent way, with some kind of plan, or in a random,  haphazard way.

There are certain basic tips that can help you improve many areas of your life. Any of these can be researched in more detail, but you can benefit right away by starting with them.

1. Write Down Goals -do this in a way you feel comfortable with, in a notebook or on the computer, but write down some goals and review them every day. This has been proven to be effective as it will help you to focus on what you are aiming for.
2. Cut Out Junk Foods -or reduce them as much as possible. Too much sugar, fried foods (study the subject of healthy vs. unhealthy fats if you aren’t familiar with it), alcohol (can be ok, even healthy in moderation), and high calorie foods such as bread and pasta can not only make you fat, they drain your energy. Remember, if you don’t have the energy to push yourself beyond where you already are, there is no progress to talk about.
3. Get Sufficient Rest -many people are sleep deprived. In rare cases, this can be a medical condition, but often it’s because people don’t make sleep a priority. This isn’t being lazy, it’s essential to good health and having consistent energy.
4. Meditate -even ten minutes, preferably twenty to thirty minutes per day can decrease your levels of stress and help you feel more focused. There are many kinds of meditation, so find a style that suits you.
5. Physical Activity -you should get some kind of exercise for at least 30 minutes per day. Find something you enjoy. This is healthy, helps keep your weight down and also helps clear your mind.
6. Keep Learning -read books (if you have little time, audiobooks can often be fitted in -listen during commutes), watch educational programs, take classes and seminar. Try to learn about as many things as possible, not only related to your own niche or business. This keeps your mind alert and makes you curious about life. It will also open up your social circle and even brings you more opportunities.
7. Consider Each Day A New Beginning -you may not be able to live 100% in the present moment, like a Zen monk, but the more you can think of every minute, or at least every day, as unique, the more you can move forward and improve your life. Many people get stuck in ruts because they keep repeating the same thoughts and actions day after day, not realizing that they don’t have to do this. The past is over!

There are many ways to achieve success, but without motivation you aren’t likely to get very far. Motivation is what gives you the drive to take action, to take ideas and goals out into the world. Yet too many people think of motivation as something that they have no control over. You might feel motivated one day, and not motivated the next. So when you feel motivated, you do things; when you don’t feel motivated, you don’t do much. This is not a strategy that is likely to yield much success, because strong motivation only comes “out of nowhere” (or so it seems) only so often. It’s much better if we can do things that increase our motivation, giving us control over the process.

In my previous post I touched on Procrastination, which I believe, is not our natural behaviour. It is the lack of motivation that results in not engaging the tasks at hand as much as we should. Thus instead of getting rid of procrastination, I’d suggest focusing on how we can enhance our experience to keep us motivated.

Lack of Motivation –And What To Do About It

Since we already feel good when we are motivated, it might be more helpful to look at the other side of the coin –what to do when we don’t feel particularly motivated. What is this lack of motivation and how can we reverse it? There are actually some key reasons why we don’t feel motivated, and most of these can be controlled.

1. Exhaustion or Stress –if you are tired or experiencing emotional stress, you are not likely to feel motivated. Make sure you get enough rest, eat a healthy diet, and learn to let go of stress. If something is making you tense, do what you can about it and then release it. Breathe deeply. Take up meditation –meditating for twenty minutes per day can help you relieve stress and you may start feeling motivated very quickly!

2. Boredom –when you don’t feel excited or challenged by your circumstances, you don’t feel motivated. Many people get caught in a catch-22 with jobs they don’t like. The job saps their energy, making it harder for them to escape the job. Don’t let this happen to you. Use your free time to research alternatives to your present lifestyle if it doesn’t suit you. Make sure you set aside time every time to study and work on your dreams and goals. Don’t let your free hours slip away in front of the TV, at a bar or gossiping with friends who are in similar predicaments.

3. Waiting To Be Motivated –this is another catch-22. You don’t feel motivated, so you don’t do anything, which leads to more lack of motivation. The answer is to act as if you are motivated, or take a break and do something that’ll perk you up! Ask yourself, “what would I do right now if I were motivated?” and do it. Believe it or not, in most cases, you will soon feel motivated!

These simple steps can quickly turn on your motivation switch, which will get you moving in the direction of your goals and dreams. If what you are doing does not get you motivated, you should evaluate your approach to enhance your experience, or consider moving on to something else that could.

Procrastination is one of the most common obstacles to personal empowerment. It is something that most people struggle with at one time or another, and it literally stops many people completely in their tracks. It is easy to underestimate how damaging procrastination can be. We will see exactly what procrastination is, why it can be so harmful and what you can do to overcome it.

The Habit of Procrastination

Procrastination is the habit of putting off tasks indefinitely into the future. I say “indefinitely,” because if you plan to do Task X on Monday and decide to put it off until Tuesday, and then actually do it on Tuesday, that isn’t really procrastination. Procrastination is when you keep putting it off until “manana” and tomorrow, of course, never arrives or when its too late.

The reason this is such a potentially harmful habit is because it can seem innocuous. After all, you are only putting off your task for an hour or a day. The worst thing about procrastination is that it is the refusal to make a real decision. If you simply said, “I don’t feel like doing Task X, so I’m not going to do it,” you would no longer be procrastinating. The habitual procrastinator never makes that decision. He or she neither gets the task done or permanently shelves it, but simply keeps putting it off. This leaves them, and their work, in a state of perpetual limbo.

What Causes Procrastination

The obvious cause of procrastination is laziness, but this does not really explain it.

The real cause is usually something deeper. It involves an unwillingness to set priorities in your life. If you find yourself constantly putting things off, that means your intentions and actions are seldom in accord. You say you will do something, and at some level you want to do it, but you never actually do it. Or you do everything at the very last minute, or maybe even later than you promised, and usually the quality suffers as a result.  In addition to facing the consequences of not getting something done on time, you probably feel guilt or shame about it, which only reinforces the cycle.

How To Overcome Procrastination

To overcome procrastination, the first step is to be clear about what you want to do and why. In some cases, you would be better off simply refusing to take on certain responsibilities in the first place. This is not always possible, but sometimes it is. For those tasks that you cannot refuse, write down how they fit into your long term goals. For example, if it’s an unpleasant project at work, remind yourself, in writing, how doing this project will help you eventually get a promotion, or keep you at this job until you get a better one.

The next step in overcoming procrastination is to develop a habit of setting a schedule and sticking to it. So there are three main steps to overcoming procrastination:

1. Recognize it, and don’t underestimate how harmful it can be.
2. Clarify your goals for doing what you do and write them down.
3. Set a schedule for those tasks you decide you really want to do –and stick to it!

Remember, putting things off is a habit, and habits can be changed. This takes a certain amount of self-discipline, and will probably require you to write down a schedule that you adhere to.

Our conscious mind is only a small percentage of ourselves. Most of our physical functions, such as our heart beating, our breathing, not to mention the inner workings of our cells and other vital organs, is handled by the autonomic nervous system. Our minds, meanwhile, are also run mostly on “automatic pilot.” The words we use when we speak, our emotional reactions, and even the thoughts that run through are heads during the day, are not, for the most part, consciously chosen. They are, rather, in our subconscious. The conscious mind is really the proverbial tip of the iceberg, while our subconscious is the larger part of our minds.

Since most of our feelings and behavior is controlled by the subconscious, it makes sense that, in order to make positive changes in our lives, we have to work on this aspect of ourselves. Even though our subconscious is, by definition, below the level of conscious thought, it can be consciously influenced. Just like we can consciously work at improving our physical health (even though our bodies are not run by our conscious minds) by exercising and eating the right foods, we can consciously program the subconscious.

The important thing to realize is that the thoughts, feelings and actions of most people are based on subconscious programs that were established at a very early age. There are ways to reprogram the subconscious, but it takes a certain amount of consistent effort. It also takes patience and persistence, as you cannot undo what has taken years, often decades to become your identity.

Reprogramming the subconscious mind can be done by hypnosis (including self hypnosis), meditation, affirmations and also by paying attention, moment by moment, to what you are thinking and feeling. The last one is also a kind of meditation, and perhaps the hardest of all to achieve. Your subconscious mind has been programmed by many repetitions of certain words, feelings and actions. Just like you can “program” your body to ride a bicycle or drive a car without thinking about it, you have learned to think certain thoughts and behave in a certain way. Reprogramming the subconscious is like learning any new skill. You have to consciously repeat the information over and over until the subconscious absorbs it.

While this can be challenging, especially when you are starting out, the unthinkable alternative is to be stuck with whatever limiting beliefs your subconscious has absorbed over the years. Remember, its your life.. embrace it for the better.

Do you invest in yourself — in your self development? This may be a tricky question at first, because you could say that everything we do is an investment in ourselves. After all, we work, have relationships, hobbies and so forth, and all of these are things we invest with our time and energy. However, investing in your self development is not quite the same thing. It’s deliberately learning skills and taking actions that will improve ourselves in some way. Many of the things we normally do are simply to survive, or based on momentary whims or pleasures. There is nothing wrong with this, but it’s not self development.

Moving Forward, Standing Still, or Falling Behind

There’s a saying that has some truth to it — “if you’re not moving forward, you’re falling behind.” Life just seems to be set up this way –we have to keep growing, learning and expanding our horizons or we tend to get left behind. For one thing, we are always getting older (sorry to remind you!). We are always spending our money, and time always passes whether we are moving forward or not. So in order to keep up with life, we need to be aware of ways to improve ourselves.

The Importance of Setting Goals

Goals are more than whims or wishes –they are actions or events that you are actually working towards. By thinking of –and writing down, this is important– goals, we start to set into motion the forces that allow us to achieve these goals. Write down goals even if you don’t have an immediate idea of how you will achieve them. Just having the goal will set you in the right direction.

Action Steps

Action steps are those actions we take that move us closer to achieving our goals. Sometimes we have to think of action steps before we know much about how to achieve the goal. For example, if you want to learn the skill of fly fishing (not all goals have to be about money!) and don’t know anything about it, your first action step may be to call Joe, your friend who is an expert fisherman. The same holds true for any goal. Action steps bridge the gap between goals and achievement.

Rest and Action: Both are Needed

You cannot be a “goal achieving machine.” Your body and mind need regular rest. Not only sleep, but relaxation and “time outs” where you aren’t trying to do anything. This is important not only too rewind, but to allow your mind some space where it can come up with new ideas. Some of your most important breakthroughs can come about at a time when you aren’t even looking for them. So take time to meditate, take walks or pursue a fun but “useless” hobby. Alternating work and rest is a powerful way to stay focused and move forward.

These are some ways you can start investing in yourself and pursue a course of self development that is rewarding and enjoyable.